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OLE, LENA, LARS AND SVEN..-----
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does
it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?"
"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink
I'll just take da bus."
========================================
The judge had just awarded a
divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.
He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife
$400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a
while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
=========================================
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely
he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight
insurance!"
===========================================
Lars: "Ole, stand in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals
are working".
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."
==========================================
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride.
They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel
them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.
"Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked
excitedly?
"No," replied Lars.
"Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust
took vun bite and vent blind!"
==================================================
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks
later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a
clarinet."
"How come," asked Lars?
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she
can't sing."
============================================
Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a
bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Ole said, "No, I'm Norvegian...and my name isn't
Valter."
=============================================
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a
notice in the
obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his
condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.' "
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it?
Just 'Ole died?'
Surely, there must be something more you'd like to
say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five
words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said,
"O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "
==================================================
And dot's enough!
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